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READ THIS
This lighthearted article from a Sunday newspaper examines the various aspects of death.
This is part TWO of the comprehension.
READ THE FOLLOWING PASSAGE:
1. DON'T want to appear unduly maudlin on a Sunday morning but I am going to discuss death. About
six years ago I discovered I suffer from an incurable condition that will eventually claim my life.
2. I've known about it since I was very young but for a large part of my life I was in what is known as
"denial", never believing that I could fall victim to it. Once I acknowledged it and realised that I only had
a certain time to live, it changed my attitude enormously.
3. You've no idea how much fun you can have when you finally come to realise that there may be no
tomorrow. Sunsets in the bush become even more dramatic and you can spend hours just sitting on a
rock watching the ocean roll in, knowing that there is nothing else you would rather be doing right then.
4. Relationships with other people become more important and you learn that close friendships and
money matters don't usually go well together. You also realise that life is too short to spend with people
you don't much care for.
5. This incurable condition of mine is known simply as mortality. Depending on the seriousness of the
condition it can have quite unpleasant symptoms, but for many people it is just there and they remain
unaware of it until it is too late.
6. Unavoidable though it is, mortality is not a fashionable topic of conversation. Glossy magazines don't
carry full-page adverts for designer coffins. When it comes to the accoutrements of death there are no
premium brands because even the advertising industry realises that, at that stage, who gives a damn?
7. In our dynamic, thrusting society death is seen as the ultimate failure. It is uncool to die. Which is
presumably why some people are prepared to spend enormous amounts of money on prolonging their
lives, regardless of quality, in the vain hope that they won't be seen as party poopers.
8. A by-product of this desire for immortality is the equally absurd quest for eternal youth. There are a
few women of 50 who deserve to look like 30-year-olds because they have eaten sensible diets, exercised
regularly, stayed off the booze and never smoked. Some are just lucky and obviously swam in the deep
end of the gene pool.
9. However, most women of 50 get the looks they deserve (as do men) and no amount of cosmetic
tinkering and Botox injections can disguise that.
10. Can there be a more pitiable sight, I wonder, than a woman who has obviously spent a small fortune
on cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to make herself look younger? Women's magazines
frequently carry stories telling readers how to "look younger in minutes".
11. It usually involves slapping on some expensive rejuvenation cream with a secret formula developed
by scientists at a remote laboratory in the Swiss Alps. Whether the formula actually exists or, as seems
more likely, was dreamed up by the marketing department of a pharmaceutical company doesn't seem
to bother the users, who are prepared to pay through the nose to look younger. Vanity, thy name is
woman.
12. It would, of course, be a lot more honest if women's magazines ran the headline "Disguise yourself
as a younger woman", but that would shatter the all important illusion that, by rubbing in creams, going
on weird diets and indulging in expensive surgery you are actually becoming younger. Well, mentally,
maybe.
13. The preoccupation with eternal life and youthful good looks helps to explain our inability to understand
the AIDS epidemic in this country. Almost a year ago I wrote a column suggesting that the government
was "unwilling to pump public money" into providing HIV drugs because it would involve keeping an
economically unviable portion of the population alive.
14. The chances of many of these people becoming active contributors to the South African economy
after a course of free drugs is, sadly, remote. I was expecting howls of protest but I heard nothing, so must
I assume that I was spot on.
15. HIV cannot be caught by breathing tainted air. In most cases it is a "voluntary" condition, transmitted
sexually. The fact that it is widespread and growing is often put down to a lack of education but it could
just as easily be that the threat of AIDS is not a particularly strong deterrent to people who know that their
quality of life, if they abstain from casual sex, is never going to amount to much.
16. Unlike the cosmetically altered zombies terrified of the ignominy of death, some people actually
embrace their own mortality.
David Bullard, Sunday Times, 6 April 2003
Have you looked at the questions
in the right column?
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TEST YOURSELF!
Read the left column and then answer
the following questions:
Paragraph 8:
- Why should the "quest for eternal youth" be seen as "absurd"? (4)
[Need help?]
Life has a beginning and an end. Aging is a very natural consequence of life.
It would therefore seem absurd to be following a quest for eternal youth, for eternal youth is a
contradiction.
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- What is meant by "some women obviously swam in the deep end of the gene
pool"? (4)
[Need help?]
The "deep end of the gene pool" is the place where the genes are the best.
A person who has swum there is one who looks naturally young, who doesn't age quickly.
Others have to struggle along by eating sensibly, or exercising.
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Paragraph 9:
- Explain the sarcastic comment that "most women of 50 get the looks they
deserve". (2)
[Need help?]
Most people live relatively debauched lives.
When they reach the age of 50, therefore, they naturally look old -- and deserve to look old because they
haven't looked after themselves or their skin.
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- What are "cosmetic tinkering and Botox injections"? What are they supposed to
do? (4)
[Need help?]
"Cosmetic tinkering and Botox injections" make one look younger.
"Cosmetic tinkering" refers to plastic surgery, allowing the surgeons to artificially make one's body
look more youthful.
Botox injections deaden the muscles of the face, thereby removing the wrinkles.
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Paragraph 12:
- Why would it be more honest of magazines to run the headline "Disguise yourself as a younger
women"? (4)
[Need help?]
Once again, aging is a natural process. What women are doing therefore is attempting to disguise
themselves as younger people.
They are not actually younger but just look younger. They are disguising themselves as younger people.
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Paragraphs 13 to 15:
- Why does the writer refer to HIV carriers as "an economically unviable portion of the
population"? (4)
[Need help?]
HIV sufferers are, according to the author, a drain on society's wealth.
Their sickness means that they consume vast amounts of medicine but they become steadily
unproductive and cannot therefore contribute to the economy.
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- The writer does not believe that contracting HIV is caused by ignorance. Indeed, the threat of getting
AIDS, he says, is not a deterrent to many people. What reason does he give for his
argument? (4)
[Need help?]
Most people, argues the writer, live lives of pretty poor quality. Sex is therefore one of the few pleasures
available to them.
They really don't care, therefore, whether or not they contract AIDS because that illness is simply the result
of the only little bit of pleasure they have been able to have.
Indeed, a quick death from AIDS is better than a long life in poverty!
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- What does the writer mean when he says that HIV is a "voluntary condition"? (2)
[Need help?]
HIV and AIDS is usually self-inflicted. We get it because we have willingly engaged in unprotected sex.
It is therefore something which can usually be avoided.
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Which of the following BEST describes the language style of this article? Explain why. (4)
1. Formal;
2. Colloquial;
3. Jargon;
4. Slang.
[Need help?]
Formal language is that language used in such things as reports, etc. It is very serious.
Colloquial language is more relaxed and chatty. The writer feels free to throw in the occasional bit of
jargon or slang.
Jargon is the language of a specific group of people, a language not generally understood outside of that
circle, like computer jargon and medical jargon.
Slang is very informal language, often used by youth or people in specific districts or ghettos: like
"Howzit, my China!"
This passage clearly is too lighthearted to be formal but at the same time does not descend into jargon
or slang. It is therefore a good example of colloquial language.
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Which of the following BEST describes the overall style of this article? Explain why. (4)
1. Humourous;
2. Sarcastic;
3. Ironic;
4. Insulting.
[Need help?]
The writer is definitely not trying to be insulting. On the other hand, there are definite touches of sarcasm
and irony.
Put it all together, however, and one must surely conclude that this is a fairly straight forward piece of
humourous writing.
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